Bump Start: North Atlantic series book 3: Eve Holmes

I'm not sure what Eve Holmes is putting in her books - but they always leave me up in my feelings. BUMP START did not disappoint.

Was this easy to read? No, it was not. But damn if it wasn't a incredible.

• (serious) depression rep

• addiction/recovery rep

• professor/mc biker

• obsession & posession

• breath play

• opposites attract

Imma spoil things a bit so after this paragraph, if you want to avoid spoilers, be warned.

I loved this book.

Cade's depression felt exactly the same and also a mirror image of what mine looks like. Self destructive? Check. Recklessness as a form of self harm? Check. Leaning on alcohol? Been there, done that babes. Where they differ is while Cade is happy to hurt, to do ANYTHING to feel something - I chase not feeling anything. Where he feels numb, at my worst I feel everything to the point of overexposure.

It broke my heart to read this book. In the best way. Cade was trying SO HARD to keep everything together and to keep showing up against the odds - but through his depression he couldn't see that his people just wanted to help. They didn't have the tools and he couldn't communicate his needs.

And isn't that the perfect fucking representation of my life Being swallowed whole by the rushing monotony of it all. Emails, deadlines, perky, overachieving coworkers who speak in buzzwords and think productivity is a personality. The pressure to stay ahead, to respond, engage, and attend meetings I don't care about.

Talking to my family as if I'm still in the room with them, even though I left a long time ago. And watching the flicker of hurt in their eyes every time I shut them out. I know that I'm doing it... and I hate that I am.

But I keep doing it anyway. I just keep chipping away at the base of everything that holds me up. The people, the structure, the version of myself I built so I could pass for fine.

Letting the tide wear it down, again and again, is easier than swimming back against it.

And Alder. Damn what a delicious disaster. He was down bad from the very first cable knit sweater. I loved how he SAW Cade and just held space for him.

"But the darkness was always there. For as long as I can remember." I continue, trying to add strength to my voice. "Just always hovering, waiting to pull me under. So I let it. And it dragged me down so far, I can't feel anything anymore."

This book was atmospheric & gritty. It held a harsh mirror to mental illness, addiction & the consequences of your own choices. It also showed how two people can look like opposites but really be fitting puzzle pieces.

Again, this book wasn't a rom-com. But it was romantic. Because really, what is more romantic than continuing to show up for your person?

I am LOVING this series. If you're looking for stories where the landscape is a main character and your human mcs GO THRU IT... I can't recommend the North Atlantic series more. All three books have been 5⭐️ reads for me.